mermaidblue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mermaidblue) wrote2012-04-17 10:21 pm
mermaidblue) wrote2012-04-17 10:21 pm
3 months
One of the things that always amazes me about life is how fast it can change....
It's only been 3 months, when we were together almost 8 years. It only took one sentence to go from pair bonded and engaged, thinking about houses and children....to single, alone, and perhaps never to be a mother.
It seems like so little time, and so much.
I'm getting to the point where I'm ok without him. Not happy. Not loved. But ok. I still miss the wonderful things we shared, the way he said bye with such adoration in his voice, the silly things he'd do just to make me smile or laugh...and of course my puppies. But it doesn't feel like a giant hole burning in the center of my stomach.
All the uncertainty and the fears are still there. I still don't believe I can find some better for me, but I'm starting to think I could find someone better to me. I still wonder if I'll ever get to have a child, and a family. I still don't think I'm that special.
But at least I'm no longer worried about things beyond my control or being lied to on a regular basis.
It's only been 3 months, when we were together almost 8 years. It only took one sentence to go from pair bonded and engaged, thinking about houses and children....to single, alone, and perhaps never to be a mother.
It seems like so little time, and so much.
I'm getting to the point where I'm ok without him. Not happy. Not loved. But ok. I still miss the wonderful things we shared, the way he said bye with such adoration in his voice, the silly things he'd do just to make me smile or laugh...and of course my puppies. But it doesn't feel like a giant hole burning in the center of my stomach.
All the uncertainty and the fears are still there. I still don't believe I can find some better for me, but I'm starting to think I could find someone better to me. I still wonder if I'll ever get to have a child, and a family. I still don't think I'm that special.
But at least I'm no longer worried about things beyond my control or being lied to on a regular basis.