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[personal profile] mermaidblue
into the future.

Things are a bit rough inside my head right now. I'm sad. I'm alone. I'm scared. Most of all I'm tired...of trying and fighting and hoping. Most of all of hoping.

But it seems to be an impossible habit to break so, what do I want?

I want a partner- someone who will make decisions with me, not who will make them for me or expect me to make them for him. Not everything obviously but the big ones.

I want someone with integrity. Who doesn't lie to me and know I won't lie to them. I'm not talking Radical Honesty here, just basic respect for me and for our relationship.

I want someone who loves me, wholeheartedly even though they admit I'm imperfect and frustrating and stubborn. Cuz I am.

I want someone I can trust without reservation. I don't want to wonder if he is drinking, or using drugs, or cheating on me.

I want someone who can balance his interests and our life together. Who has his own things that make him happy, that we can do together or not. I want to make him happy, and be happy with him but I don't want to be the sole source of his happiness.

I want someone who is emotionally available and comfortable with intimacy. Who knows himself, his issues, and his faults...and can address them as they come up as well as whatever issues we have as our relationship progresses. Cuz we will have them.

I want someone who wants me as I am, who wants a life with me and a family. Someone I don't have to fight to have a keep a place in his life. Who commits to our life together as his top priority.

Is this too much to ask?


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March 2013


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