On and On

Jan. 31st, 2012 09:14 pm
mermaidblue: (Default)
[personal profile] mermaidblue
That's all I get these days, to keep going.

Life is not bad. I still love my job. The Cape is still gorgeous. I have friends here, and there, who love me. Everyone is being supportive, including my family. And that helps more than I could ever say.

But I cry at least a little most days. In some ways the sudden stabs of grief are worse because there are moments of not hurting. I would still do anything to have my Jason back, even though I know that is impossible. I wonder if there was anything I could have done that might possibly have made a difference...even though I know there likely wasn't.

I keep knitting, and planning the house rearrangement. I'm trying to marshal some forces to help with packing etc this weekend. Then comes the painting, and the cleansing, and the recreating.


Must sleep now. More later.
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